my dear 70 year old aunt ( okay she is my Mom's cousin ! ) sent this and as I love Maxine , I thought everybody could use a good chuckle .
The Banister of Life As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember ....... 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The diffe rence between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned buil d ing. 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." 13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. 14. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
- Donna C
- BC, Canada
- I have been married to the same guy for a LONG time ! We have 3 grown children and the 5 loves of our lives that they have given us ... 4 girls and one boy ! I have been crafting all my life and found my true addiction when I taught myself to use Copic Markers and introduced them into my card making ! I am NOT certified in the use of Copics but that doesn't stop me from creating with them ! I always been a bit of a crafting rebel and don't follow directions well !I love crafting with my hands and seldom will you find them idle as they usually have a crochet hook , knitting needles or a book in them . Exercise is not my strong suit ! LOL ! My husband and I also love camping in our RV ( weather permitting ... as in NO snow !) so most weekends from Spring to Fall you find us camped somewhere with our 3 Yorkies .... though don't tell them they aren't BIG dogs ! Hope you enjoy my little touch of my life .... the creative and the real life !